Writings of a would-be smallholder in rural Monmouthshire....

Ancient David Brown Tractor, Ben - Head of Sales!, The Great Oak, Monmouthshire Tymawr Farm

Ancient David Brown Tractor, Ben - Head of Sales!, The Great Oak, Monmouthshire Tymawr Farm

Sunday, 1 July 2012

Pigs # 13 - Pigs Departure Part Two!

Richard from Morris Free Range Meats & Horticulture was due to arrive at 7AM, so I was outside at 6:15, with my bucket of feed and fingers, toes etc. crossed.  First I walked the route from the mouth of the 'exit pathway' to the Alpaca shed, propping open gates, moving the cars to try to create a bit of a barrier and generally fretting.  At about 6:30 I checked all my paperwork (movements of pigs have to be 'booked' and registered via [ http://www.eaml2.org.uk/ami/home.eb] which actually seems to work fairly well, albeit a bit 'clunkily' as is the case with all 'big company' IT systems in my experience!), took a deep breath and opened the gate to the pigs enclosure.

"Pigs! Pigs!  I've got your breakfast here!  Follow me for your breakfast!" I called.  They followed me really well up the 'exit pathway', Big Pig with her nose actually in the bucket, and Small Pig trying her best to get her nose in too!  The next part went surprisingly well too, being a sharp right turn and into the garden via a narrow gate.  Once we were in the garden however, the pigs started to find everything extremely interesting and galloped about exploring the new area.  Lots of bucket banging and calling later, I'd persuaded them into the Alpaca shed and poured a pan of food onto the floor which they happily tucked into.  At this point Richard arrived and started to back the trailer towards the shed door.  He then pointed out that we would need to keep the pigs away from the shed-gate while we opened it (of course, I'd poured their food right next to the shed-gate!).  So more bucket banging, calling and persuading saw the pigs tucking into another pan of food, behind a hurdle, away from the shed-gate.  We got the trailer backed up and led them into it with more food.  We quickly shut the trailer, I passed Richard the paperwork and we said goodbye.

I rushed off to work, and soon got consumed in the day to day rush, not thinking about the journey the pigs were taking, just trusting Richard and www.NSJames.co.uk to look after them and treat them kindly and with respect.

How I wish that I could do this 'smallholding' business properly and not cram it into my 'spare time'!
Pigs #12 - Pigs Departure Part One!

The pigs were booked to go to the abbatoir (www.NSJames.co.uk) on Monday 25th June.  We had been away visiting Jo's brother & sister in law for the weekend, and arrived a bit later home on Sunday than we'd planned due to an accident on the motorway.  As usual I had left quite a lot of things to the last minute...The gate to the pig's enclosure is accessed through a former vegetable patch which now contains my bonfire, a vigorous patch of 3foot high weeds, the detritus of 20 years of farm machinery and many more interesting obstacles.  My plan was to mark out a walled 'pathway' through this to the yard so that I could easily lead the pigs the 25 feet or so through it and out to a waiting trailer, backed onto the opening of the pathway, up the ramp, nice and easy.

The first thing that went wrong was that when we arrived home there were no pigs!  We arrived home for a late children's bathtime, so it was half an hour or more before I was able to go and thoroughly search their enclosure.  Not a sausage (sorry!)!  A slightly panicked phone call to James at Morris Free Range Meats & Horticulture revealed that he had NOT come to pick them up a day early without telling me, and that they pigs were NOT with him.  A fairly panicked phone call to Roger (who grazes the land and kindly fed the pigs in our absence) revealed that he had seen them about 10AM and that they had been all present and correct.  It was now 8PM.  I decided to have a boundary walk with 2 saucepans of pig-feed before I gave in and took Roger & James up on their kind offers to help me to form a search party....  I could not see any evidence of escape when I walked around the perimeter of their enclosure, although with dusk starting to set in, the 3 strands of barbed wire at the back did look a bit low....I crossed them and, banging my saucepans together started shouting 'Pigs! Pigs!  I've got lots of lovely food for you!  Pigs! Pigs!'  After what seemed like an eternity I heard a crashing in the undergrowth and Big Pig came running up to me, not far behind Small Pig dashed up, panting.  If they had had the right kind of tails I'm sure they would have been wagging them!  A close examination showed that they were none the worse for wear and appeared to have had a lovely day exploring the quarter-acre of scrub / woodland behind their enclosure!  I then went back over the wire into their enclosure, poured one saucepan full of pig food onto the floor where they could see it, and waited for them to show me how they had escaped.  At least that was the theory, but after 5 minutes of pacing up and down the boundary they lost interest, turned their backs and charged back into the woodland!  At that point I ran back to the house, picked up the wire cutters, staples, wire tensioner (sound familiar?  If not have a look at [Pigs # 1]!), ran back to the fence and cut the 3 barbed wire strands to make a 3 foot wide opening.  More saucepan banging and frantic calling eventually brought the pigs back, and, after safely navigating them through the hole in the fence I tipped another big pan of food as far away as possible from it so that I could repair the breach in peace.  I decided just to make good the fence as it stood, and to give the pigs plenty of food and straw to try to encourage them not to stray 'til morning.

At that point our neighbour Mike walked up the lane, having had a call from Roger, to see if he could help.  I was very relieved to be able to explain that everything was OK now, and just to invite him in for a cup of coffee, as I've always felt a bit embarrassed with Mike after the ['Lamb-Police Incident' (insert link to future post)].

Anyway, the pigs were safely back in their enclosure, I had managed to calm down and the cold sweats had subsided (in hindsight I wondered if Roger had inadvertently let slip to the pigs what Monday morning had in store for them!).  The next thing to do was to construct the 'exit pathway'.  When I thinned out the row of 'Kentish Cobs' I saved a big pile of nice straight hazel branches of 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 inch diameter to use for just such a purpose.  I quickly banged them in at about 3ft spacing with the sledgehammer, and filled between them with various bits of board / fencing / sheeting.  The other side was a bit easier so I just stretched some barbed wire about 18" off the ground and tied some feed sacks to it so the pigs would be able to see it easily.

At this point I was quite tired, but relieved that the pigs were back safely and happy that I was prepared pretty reasonably for the morning.  As I sat down on my wood-splitting log, drank a cup of coffee and contemplated what a nice job I'd done on the 'exit pathway', Jo brought the phone out to me 'Its James' she said.

James was just calling to apologise that as he wasn't feeling well it would be his dad, Richard who would pick up the pigs.  No problem at all, I was just glad that someone would be coming and told James I hoped he would 'get well soon'.  "Just one other thing" he said, because Tymawr Farm is accessed down quite a narrow lane, Richard would prefer to drive into one of the fields and back up to one of the Alpaca sheds to load the pigs, instead of loading them in the yard.  "No worries" I said in my best 'light hearted' tone, heart sinking, with my best laid plans crumbling before my very eyes.  The Alpaca sheds are another 100 feet or so away from the mouth of the 'exit pathway', through a narrow gateway, through the garden - impossible to create a proper pathway.  I would just have to rely on them following the bucket!

At that point I went into the house, opened a bottle of homemade Elderberry, Blackberry, Blackcurrant & Sloe wine, drank a large glass and went to bed, fervently praying for well behaved pigs in the morning!

To be continued..............